High Energy Parenting Blog

Category Archives: Friends & Companionships

pile of U.S. coins

It’s Loose Change, Expect To Get Hit

By | Community Relationships, Family, Friends & Companionships, Making Change | No Comments

There is no guide book for living as a parent AND you are inevitably growing and evolving, likely at slightly differing times to even your parenting partner. When the tides of change are let loose, expect a storm to follow.

Change can be a problem, sometimes a MAJOR PROBLEM.

As by products of our advancement forward in our health, fitness, and energy levels, we can expect to catch flak from friends, family, coworkers, and basically anyone who knew us BEFORE we changed.

The change can be a change in how you view the sanctity and safety of childbirth, OR a change what foods you find work best for you, OR a change in the awareness of how your actions effect the plants and animals, OR a change in what level of fitness you find acceptable for yourself.

The change can happen out of the blue, it can be overnight, or it can take years to develop. Though one thing is ever constant with change; agitation. Just as when a stone is thrown into a calm pond, ripples occur, and ever as surely, the ripples abate. A new homeostasis establishes. Peace returns. Remember this truth as you grow and change.

You will certainly be doing some things differently than your parents and grandparents did. You will likely decide to do some things differently than your mother and father and law believe is best. Your neighbors will adamantly propose that their style of living is the healthiest. Your friends will think you are being too extreme. Your doctor will say “Do it my way.” The magazine will say, “Do it her way.” The book will say, “Do it his way.”

At the end of the line is you. YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER. You are responsible, even if you choose to follow someone else’s opinion or advice.

Woo Hoo! I’ve got the power!

But wait!
With great power, comes great responsibility.

If you are new to being a parent, or are new to choosing your own path, get used to confronting the paper tigers all around you. Don’t make them into big, blown out confrontations. Simply state your truth, state why you hold it as your truth, and let that be that. You know what you know, now live what you know. No apologies required. You are doing your best, right?

And believe it or not, much of the backlash we receive, when we change, comes from genuine love and genuine fear of the unknown.

Make your truth accessible to those who are lovingly desiring to be a part of this new dimension of your life. Be patient, as we each see certain truths at certain times. Be true to yourself and your experience of truth and life.

hep-The-end-of-conversation

How To Instantly Kill A Conversation with Two 4-Letter Words

By | Community Relationships, Friends & Companionships, Gratitude | No Comments

How are you doing?

If you answered, “fine” or “good”, as is so currently common, you are in grave danger of missing the boat. We effectively kill the life of the conversation when we use the words “fine” or “good” to describe our experience of life. Subconsciously, we are also shorting ourselves on how much of life we do experience. As Tony Robbins eloquently puts it, “the words that we attach to our experience become our experience.”

1 in 10 Americans are on anti-depressants.

1 in 3 Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives.

You and I, WE, are ALIVE!

We have the opportunity to experience tastes, sounds, sights, textures, emotions, relationships, mental and spiritual phenomena.

“Suddenly you’re ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you’re alive and its spectacular.”

— Joseph Cambell

There may be moments of pain, suffering, horror, but most of life is benign, AND the majority of our pain, especially in the first world countries, is self-inflicted pain. Whether it is the physical pain induced by unhealthy lifestyle choices or the mental anguish incited by unchecked emotions and rampant destructive thought patterns; these pains can be ameliorated or avoided entirely by us.

1:400,000,000,000

Those are the odds that you would be born, with your DNA, in that spot on Earth, to your parents, out of all those sperm, with that one egg. These are just the odds for our birth. What are the odds are that you would not only be born, but survive childhood, make it into adulthood, have a computer or device, and read this article?

Exceptionally slim. BUT, life happened. Life is happening.

Life is ripe with opportunity to find joy, peace, wonder, awe, creative expression, intimate connection, and virtually endless experiences. Take this opportunity to change your language and change your experience of life.

Anytime I am asked the question, “How are you?”, I take the opportunity to reflect on my experience of life. When I do this, I feel grateful. This gratitude for being alive with the capacity to respond, elicits a joyous answer from me. “I doing fantastic! I’m alive!”

Here are some of my favorite answers to the age old question, “How are you?”
‘Stupendous’, ‘splendid’, ‘This is the best moment of my life’, ‘Amazing’, ‘Wonderful’ I’ve even tossed in ‘splendiferous’ on occasion. (Don’t worry if you can’t find it in every dictionary, ‘splendiferous’ is a word.) Consciously come up with some default responses of your own, so that each time someone asks about how you are doing, you will have the chance to experience an uplifting moment in your day.

If you want a more thorough kick in the butt, so that you can get back to enjoying the thrill of life, watch Mel Robbins in this TED talk. I highly recommend it.

Oh-really

Oh, Really? This Popular Saying Gets An Overhaul

By | Community Relationships, Friends & Companionships, Quotes, Responsibility | No Comments

“Everything in Moderation”

It is the motto of the underachiever, the credo of the consistent consumer, the epitome of mediocrity, AND it is violent, unhealthy, and downright dangerous.

One method I use to ensure I am not being too gullible when it comes to new information or ideas, is to follow the line of logic being proposed to its extremes. Let’s apply this method to the generally revered maxim, “Everything in moderation.”

Usually, we hear this adage tossed about when someone is about to have a drink, or light just one cigarette, or have just one piece of pie, or… But we will take it to the extreme and suss out the truth. How about drinking rat poison? Would moderation be alright? How about child abuse? Would just a little bit be OK? And rape? Theft? Cheating?

We don’t have to go far down the line of extremes to realize that we don’t want ANY negatives heaped onto our lives, even in the smallest doses. Well, the same is true for our bodies, our minds, and our spirits. They don’t benefit a lick from being subjected to mild, light, or moderate amounts of abuse. Our children don’t benefit from moderate abuse of any sort, neither do our spouses, friends, and coworkers.

We do thrive upon moderate exposure and engagement with positive, beneficial aspects of life; i.e. sunlight, proper food, water, sleep and rest, social engagement, meditative time, pursuit of goals, etc. Too much of these healthy elements and even they can inflict harm; i.e. sunburn, obesity, introversion, extroversion, etc.

The corrected axiom now reads thus: All good things in moderation.

 

 

Someone Has To Do It First

By | Community Relationships, Friends & Companionships, Inspiration & Purpose, Responsibility | No Comments

In every family, there is someone who is courageous enough to break the mold and dare to stretch out for a new foothold.

Even if your family doesn’t fully see the same truth that you see, tread not from your path. Be the beacon of light. If what you have found works well enough, people will follow. You can trust me here, trying to force feed ‘the truth’ down family members throats DOES NOT work. Patience and a consistent example speak volumes and allow the other members of our families to find the truth we so desperately want them to benefit from on their own accord. And when they discover it for themselves, they own it.

No ill feelings, no coercion, just simple steady persistence on your own path and an ever willingness to offer support (or prepare meals) will do wonders for the family dynamic in the long run.

Be the one to shine the light. Be bold. Live passionately. Parent phenomenally. This is the quintessence of High Energy Parenting.

A Critical Piece Of Parenting That Millions Ignore and Suffer For

By | Friends & Companionships | No Comments

Dakarai and I bike to gymnastics each week, and after the class we often play around the gym. Last week, I noticed a man flipping around at such wickedly fast speeds and with such fluid agility that I had to pick my jaw up from the floor. The man took a break and I took the chance to introduce myself. We quickly made friends and found that we had enough similar interests to forge a friendship. (He was even kind enough to help me with my first back handspring, and will be helping me and my son develop of acrobatic skills. I will be helping him create demo reels and YouTube videos. We both have children of similar age and enjoy a plant based diet. All of this couldn’t have happened unless I was willing to reach out and make a connection.)

Just like that I expanded my parental peer group and have a new friend that I can enjoy healthy activities with.

Each year, in my current line of work of helping others to regain and maintain their health and fitness, I am asked to travel to various festivals and educational events. Sometimes the whole family makes the trip, but often my partner, Meagan stays home with the children. I don’t much like the idea leaving a mom alone with two children. Even if it is for just one or two weeks, it’s a tenuous situation that leaves one adult having to manage the household and two children. Thankfully, we’ve taken the time to develop a parental peer group and Meagan has fantastic friends who she enjoys spending time with and whom we and the children trust to respect our values.

A parental peer group is so critical to our health and energy levels that I classify it as necessary.

A parental peer group lends support in times of exhaustion, illness, or injury. A parental peer group offers opportunities to find activities and ideas that gel with your values and goals. A parental peer group allows for our children to be surrounded by adults that we want them to model. A parental peer group makes for more parenting fun!

On top of all of that, who we spend our time with greatly affects our thought process, our behaviors, our values, and our standards. Charlie “Tremendous’ Jones introduced this concept to me, “We will become the aggregate of the 5 people we spend the most time with.”

What’s cool about this is that even if you don’t have people around you that you want to become more like, we can spend time with people’s writings, speeches, and videos. We can connect with other people online or offline. We can even connect with people who have passed on from this Earth and left their work behind. By consciously creating a parental peer group, we can positively affect our level of health and energy.

Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with?
Is your current peer group supporting the type of person you want to become?
What do you value or what are you interested in?
Where could you find other parents who are also interested in these things or value the same things?