I’m running back into the house to grab a couple bananas for the kids, who are sitting in the car, finally. By the time I get back out, our eldest has escaped and is climbing up the tree positioned next to the car. I wanted to make it to the library in time to rent the books, and be back in time for 5 o’clock dinner, so I gave him the ‘serious scowl’ and growled, “Get back in the car.” He slunk down the tree and went dejectedly into his car seat.
Why did I need to be back at 5? This is a question I only ask in hindsight, for if I had asked it at the moment, I would’ve likely realized that ‘I’ am the only reason that ‘the time’ matters so much.
As young adults starting a family, we often get wrapped up in ‘doing things right’; keeping the house in just the right order, getting meals served ‘on time’, making it to school before the bell, having clean clothes, financially supporting our families, finding the ‘right’ extra curricular activities for our children, and the list can go on and on and on, as long as we’ll let it get. While all along, the precious opportunity of being a parent and the joy of being a child, culminates in being present. We need to be present to see our child’s first steps, or to perceive our child’s pain through his avoidant glance, or to notice the way our child is smiling so joyfully at us, amidst their rambunctious tomfoolery.
We will all be old one day, many of us will be grandparents, and when we scroll the pages of the family photo album, we’ll look back on our short time with our children, only regretting the moments of anger and irritation, and ever pining for the moments of joy, play, and laughter.
Set your future self up for a lifetime of joy and happy memories, by taking the time to clarify what matters most to you. Is it the clean house or the pleasant family spirit that is paramount in your home? Is it being on time or having positive interactions with your child? Sometimes we’ll get both of what we want, but when the time comes to make a choice let’s remember; we will have lots of opportunities to clean our homes and be on time, but we only get a brief interval with our young children. Remember what matters, and cherish every moment.
Lovely post and quote! Greetings from New Zealand 🙂
I seem to have that scowl permanently fixed at the moment and I really needed to hear this to be reminded of what I knew but forgot. As a child, all we want is for the people we love most in the whole world – our parents – to share our joy! When did we decided not to do this and instead quash their exuberance? And for what? Thank you for this post.